It's no secret that we talk a lot here about conflicts that arise from misplaced expectations or a lack of communication. Exploring, then, how these give rise to larger, festering problems that undermine interpersonal relationships.
But it's worth remembering that there is another side to that coin. A reality where a misplaced expectation can be one where a friend or family member went above and beyond. Where they did something for you that wasn't even something you had thought of asking for. While we may not see as many of these stories online, I have no doubt that they're happening just as often as the negative exchanges; they're just underrepresented.
Without a doubt, it's clear that these types of acts of goodwill are the best surprises, where it's clear that someone went well out of their way to make a special consideration. Taking the time and thought to do or make something that is personal.
It's like that "Pay It Forward" movie. You know the one, with Helen Hunt, Kevin Spacey (oof), and… Jon Bon Jovi?
Ok I haven't seen it in a really long time, but I think we all know how this goes. Haley Joel Osment (as a kid) plays a kid who starts a trend of “paying it forward,” aka doing kind acts unprompted for 3 other people.
It's basically like a super convoluted version of one of those drive-through daisy chains, where one person declares that they want to "Pay for the order of the car behind me", starting an endless loop of people who are too afraid to be the one who doesn't “pay it forward” and invite all the karmic wrath of the universe upon themselves. Meanwhile, the employees are busy tearing their hair out trying to keep track of what order goes with what car.
In the movie, since every person is doing it for 3 people, it escalates to ridiculous levels, and the ending… Yeah, let's not go there.
It's a pretty terrible movie, now that it's coming back to me. Definitely not worth making the family suffer through on a Friday night, but it made for good daytime television when you were sick at home from school in the 00s, and it was either that or Judge Judy.
But I digress. Where were we? Right, that's basically what was happening in this story.
"My 23-year-old nephew stayed with us for three weeks between apartments, and we came home to a repaired fence, two freshly detailed cars, and a box of labeled supplies in the garage"
An uncle shared his account of events with this online community, wondering how he should go about repaying his nephew, who had gone above and beyond in helping out around the house while he was living with them, doing all of their home maintenance that had been piling up.
Sometimes actions speak louder than words, and kind acts are worth far more than their monetary value, and that is definitely what you see on display here. Certainly, anyone who has been fortunate enough to secure their own home knows exactly how invaluable it is to have all of those home maintenance tasks taken care of.
When their nephew was priced out of where he had been living, he asked if he could stay with his aunt and uncle. They were more than happy to help out but had pretty low expectations.
They let him have the spare room and just made a few simple requests.
My nephew Tyler couldn't afford the rent increase on his lease renewal. He asked to stay with us for "two weeks, three max." We had a spare room, so we said sure. Just keep the dog off the bed.
Story/20Luc1a02
His uncle expected that they would probably have some of their food eaten and have the thermostat messed with. But after a weekend away, they came home to an unexpected surprise.
He's 23. I figured we'd be dealing with an empty fridge and the thermostat set to 78.
We spent a weekend at my sister's and came home Sunday night.
The nephew had attended to several repairs and maintenance-related chores that had been piling up around the house.
The fence panel damaged in February's storm had been repaired. Both cars had been cleaned inside and out.
Then I opened the garage.
Everywhere they looked, they were surprised to find more.
He'd replaced the furnace filter and the batteries in the smoke detectors. There was also a plastic bin with a label in his handwriting: "SPARE FILTERS + BATTERY SIZES."
His nephew humbly admitted to being responsible for the work.
I texted him, "Tyler, what is all this?"
He said, "That gate kept creaking in the wind. Also, your furnace filter was from 2021."
I'd been meaning to change that filter since we moved in. He replaced it three days after arriving.
But refused to accept any money, declining each time it was offered. “You fed me for three weeks. We're even,” he told them.
I Venmo'd him $200 for the car detailing. He declined it twice. His response was, "You fed me for three weeks. We're even."
With his nephew set to move out, the uncle is wondering how he should repay him.
He moves into his own place on the 1st. It's his first apartment, and right now he owns a mattress and a Switch.
The uncle wants to know if he should:
A. Give him $500 toward furniture.
B. Show up on move-in day with my old tool set, a ladder, and a grill. Help him install his curtain rods, get the place set up, and cook burgers for whoever happens to be around.
What would you do?
So what should he do to repay his nephew?
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